My Father is a Flapjack-Flipping Elf Lord
by Blynk
Summary: This fic is based on a crazy dream I had where I wish that I could live in Middle Earth. But I guess I should clarify my wishes before I make them... Thanks for the reviews guys! Chapter 4 is now up!
1. Hacky-Sacks, Home Gardening with Martha ...

A/N: This totally bizarre fic is based on a dream. Y'know, the one I talked about in the LOTR forum?   
Well, I decided to write it as a fic because, well, I dunno. Why I had this dream, God only knows. I didn't even recently eat any pancakes when I had this dream. I mean, I had one today, but that was afterwards. Anyways, I know people'll probably flame this, but I don't really care because I thought it was funny and figured that maybe a few people would too. And everyone here (well, almost everyone) is really OOC, but that's how they were in the dream, so deal with it lol. And its written really, well, dumb, because its really, well, dumb. Surprise surprise. Plus the fact that I'm not the greatest writer in the world. BIG surprise there, eh? *cough* Yeah, er… so read, review, and please try not to cinder me. Thank you :)   
  
Chapter 1- Hacky-Sacks, Home Gardening with Martha Stuart, and Wishing Upon a Star. Dang that stupid cricket…  
  
Blynk hopped off her van and trudged angrily towards her front door. Ok, so her name was really Brittany, but she liked being called Blynk, so that's what we'll call her. Anyways, Blynk was your normal 13-year-old teenage girl. Well, ok, so maybe not average. She was obsessed with the Lord of the Rings. She slept, breathed, and ate LOTR. Get her to talk about it and she wouldn't shut up. (Boy I sure am friendly about myself ^^') But hey, its better than being obsessed with something weirder like bottlecaps like Bert does on Sesame Street right? Right. But at least she had a personality and a sense of humor. It wasn't like she was stupid or a ditz or anything. Where was I? Oh yes-  
  
It had been a really bad day that Friday. How? Well I think pricking yourself with a needle in home ec, failing a surprise science quiz, and getting hit in the head with a hack sack during a game of silent ball counts for a really bad day. And right now she was pretty ticked. Now all she needed was for one little thing to tick her off. Or perhaps a few…  
  
"Brittany! You need to empty the dishwasher!" her mom called as she walked into the house. Blynk scowled as she threw her backpack into its usual corner of the kitchen.  
"Any 'Hello Brittany, how was your day?' ? No. 'Empty the dishwasher'."  
"And after that you need to pick and fold the clothes." Her mom said. Blynk sighed.  
"Peachy. Just… peachy."  
"What's that?" her mom asked her, coming into the room.  
"Nothing," said Blynk. "Hey, did my book come yet?"  
"Its on the counter." Her mom replied. Blynk rushed over to the counter and started ripping open the brown package. The previous week, she had ordered "The Complete Guide to Middle Earth" from Amazon.com. It had taken 4 days for the stupid package to get there, and lo and behold, when she opened it up, would you believe it?- They sent her the wrong dang book. After shouting a string of not-nice yet wisely chosen words in her head, she sent an e-mail complaining to Amazon.com. They sent a reply with the usual "we're sorry blah blah blah" and said they'd ship her the right book, free of charge (Thank God). And finally, it was here. Or so she thought…  
  
"Home Gardening with Martha Stuart?!" said Blynk in disbelief, staring at the book which had a big picture of a smiling Martha Stuart holding a fern on the cover.  
"What's wrong?" her mom asked her.  
"No, no no no no NO! This can't- this cannot be happening-" Blynk said, tearing throught the package, searching desperately for the book.  
"Please excuse me," she said, and walked out of the kitchen and out the front door.   
5 minutes later…  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
She walked back into the house and collapsed into the chair at the computer.  
"That felt good."  
"Did you empty the dishwasher yet?" her mom cslled.  
"No…"  
"Then get a move on!"  
Blynk's head fell flat on the computer desk with a dull "thunk", and she gave a heavy groan.  
"Oh-ho-ho whyyyyyyyyy?…"  
  
* * *  
  
Later that night, after dinner, Blynk sat in her room, re-reading the Fellowship of the Ring and signing to Lady Marmalade, as it was playing in her CD player.  
"BRITTANY! TURN THAT DOWN!"  
"But its not even up-!"  
"Turn it DOWN!"  
She glared and walked over to the stereo, turned the volume all the way up for a second, then turned it back down. Then sighing, she sat back down on her bed and continued to read.  
"I hate today. Today I hate. Today I hate, today I hate, I do not like it, today I hate. GAH, stupid Dr. Suess!" She paused, as she heard small laughter outside her door.  
"What the-?" she said getting up and opening her door.  
"What are you-?" she said to her younger brother. He grinned evily and ran off laughing, holding a black marker in his hand. She stared and looked at her door and almost died. Her picture of Pippin she had hanging on her door was now wearing glasses and had a cigar in his mouth, and her beloved picture of Aragorn, who had once been so perfect, was now wearing a mustache and devil horns. She gave a strangled cry and yelled  
"YOU STUPID LITTLE JERK!" to which her brother replied with a loud "HAHA!" in the style of Nelson Muntz. She gave a huge aggravated groan, took down the picture, and slammed the door. She turned off the stereo and sat down on her bed, and looked at the picture. She could already feel some tears starting to come on.  
"Its not fair," she said to herself, blinking the tears away. "I, I just hate everything about this world. Everyone's so cruel and prejudice, and I feel all out of place, and- I wish, I just wish…" she looked out her window at the dark sky, and a single bright star caught her eye.  
"I just wish that I could live in Middle Earth!" And, with that, she climbed under the covers of her bed, shut out the light, and slowly fell asleep, still holding the picture of Pippin and Aragorn. She had no idea what she was in for the next morning…  
  
A/A/N (Another's Author's note!): Yeah… poor Blynk. I mean me. Whoo boy, referring to yourself in 3rd person isn't a good habit ^^' Anyways- this chapter was just to give you a reason of why everything turns out… weird. The next chapter is where the fun starts to begin ::grins evily::  



	2. Of Flapjacks, Pikachu's, and S.W.H's; Se...

A/N: Just to let you know, everyone looks exactly like they do in the movie. Why? Because I like them better that way lol. Oh yes and if you're wondering about the whole "Holy Alan Rickman" thing, I once had a dream where God looked exactly like Alan Rickman. NO I'M NOT ON CRACK! Geesh! Anyways, read on!  
  
Chapter 2- Of Flapjacks, Pikachu's, and Secret Wizard Handshakes  
  
* * *  
  
Blynk woke up, and yawned, stretching her arms out. Despite the previous day's events, she had actually had a good sleep. Perhaps today would be a good day after all.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
Or perhaps not.  
  
"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my Holy Alan Rickman sweet mother of Saruman's beard GOD!"  
Blynk gazed around her room, dumbfounded. Or was she even in her room? It certainly looked like her room, despite the, ah, décor changes, if you will. Vines, forest like vines, crept up the walls and all around the room. Rose petals fell from the ceiling, making the floor multicolored of pink, red, and white. A freaky white mist that smelled sweet hung in the air. Blynk sat up in her bed and gazed around the room.  
"What the heck is going on here?" she said aloud, her voice trembling. She got out of her bed and jumped slightly, not used to stepping on rose petals. She pulled on a pair of pajama pants, put on her Grinch slippers, and walked out of her room. It wasn't just her room that was covered in vine. The whole hallway was! She ran down the stairs, and gawked. The computer room had a stream in it?! Since when did the computer room have a stream in it?! Gulping, she ran into the kitchen, yelling  
"Dad? Dad?! What's the heck is going-" and she stopped, swaying on the spot, and stood there, and gaped. There, standing at the stove and flipping pancakes, wearing a tall white chef's hat and a white apron which read "Kiss the Cook", was none other than Elrond, Elven Lord of Rivendell!   
"Oh my…" said Blynk, horrified. Elrond turned and looked at her, and smiled. He was holding a frying pan in his left hand and a spatula in the right.  
"Good Morning sweetie!" he said amiably to her. "Did you sleep well? I made pancakes! Blueberry, chocolate chip, or plain?"  
Blynk just stood there for a few seconds in shock. Finally, her voice came back to her.  
"Um, yeah… I, I slept fine, d-dad. Um, p-p-pancakes? M-maybe later…" her voice trailed off again. Elrond frowned at her.  
"Honey are you feeling ok? You look a little too pale."  
'Too pale?' thought Blynk. She ignored the comment.  
"Um, d-dad? Did you get plastic surgery or something?"  
"Plastic wha'?" he replied, looking confused.  
"Nevermind, heh, heh heh…" she said, sitting down at the kitchen table. She turned to her left and jumped. There sitting next to her was Boromir!   
"B-Boromir?!" she said in surprise. He looked at her and sighed.  
"Well DUH sis, of course its me! Who did you think I was? Barney the Purple dinosaur? Geesh…" he said, and started fishing around in a box of Pops cereal, his tongue sticking out in frustration.  
"Oh. Um, yeah. My mistake…" said Blynk, trying not to freak out. She looked over in the living room. Bad idea.   
  
This area of the house was not covered in vines. Oh no. Instead, it was just like the Prancing Pony. The fireplace was still there, and so were the couches, but now there was a small bar on the wall. The tv was now a big screen and was in the corner. Right now, a football game was on. On the couch sat Gandalf and Saruman.  
"C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon!" said Gandalf, pounding the floor with his feet.  
"Lets go Patriots!" said Saruman, and he gave a big whoop. A cheer erupted from the crowd on the screen, and Gandalf and Saruman jumped up and down.  
"SCORE!!!" they both yelled, and proceeded with some type of manly yet clever handshake which they had made up during their spare time. Excerpts included "Whacka whacka do da! Who got the scora? We did! We did! Gooooooooo TEAM!"  
The two old men started laughing and sat back down on the couch. Blynk's head turned around and she faced forward again. The expression on her face was priceless.  
  
"Oh WOW!" said Boromir suddenly. Blynk turned and looked at him in confusion. He was grinning very broadly and was holding a small Pikachu action figure. He turned to look at her.  
"Look Blynk! I got the new one! I got the new one!!!" he said, very excited, grabbing her hand and shaking it up and down.  
"That's great Boromir! That's great…" she said, smiling weakly. Boromir smilied and started eating his Pops cereal and playing "airplane" with his Pikachu.  
"Somebody get me out of here.." Blynk muttered, standing up. "I wonder if everything else is this screwed up…"  
"Where are you going sweetie?" Elrond asked her.  
"Um, just in the backyard dad!" she said, giving him a fake smile.  
"Ok!" said Elrond, smiling. "Oh, sweetie? Would you mind getting the mail while you're at it?"  
"Um, sure thing dad!" she replied. Elrond smiled at her and returned to his pancakes. Blynk bit her lip and ran outside.  
  
"Oh dear Lord…" she said, looking around. Trees. Trees were EVERYWHERE. Where was the house that had been next door? Because it was GONE now!  
"Oh crap…" said Blynk, running to the other side of her house. "YES- …oh no…" she cried. The dead end street was STILL there! But it was miles longer, and at the end was…  
"Mount Doom?!" Blynk yelled. "Oh my God oh my God…" she said, and began pacing in the middle of the street.  
"Ok. Ok ok ok… This, this isn't bad. No, no this isn't bad." She stopped and stamped the ground. "What am I talking about?! This IS bad! Ok, ok…" she said, and continued to pace. "Lets think here Blynk, lets think here. Pros and cons. Pro: your father is an elf lord and supreme ruler. Con: He flips flapjacks and acts like the dad on full house. Pro: There's a bar in your house and you've got a big screen tv. Con: There are two wizards in there who are supposed to be enemies watching pro football together, which you hate, and they've invented their own secret handshake. Pro: Your brother is Boromir, who should be dead but hey, a prince of Minas Tirith and should now be the king as Denethor's dead. Con: He has the maturity level of a 10 year old and enjoys Pokemon. The conclusion:" She stopped pacing. "I've gone totally insane."  
She began walking back up to her house. As she did so, a hobbit walked past her and ran back.  
"Excuse me! M'lady!" he said to her. She turned and looked down at him wide-eyed.   
"You wouldn't happen to have any pipe weed, would you?" he asked her. Without a change of expression, she turned around and headed back up towards the house.  
"Midget men are asking me for marijuana, breathe Blynk, breathe…"  
  
As she entered the house, Boromir was fighting with Saruman and Gandalf over the tv controller.  
"I wanna watch POKEMON!"  
"Its HALF TIME!"  
"POKEMON!"  
"HALF TIME!"  
"POKEMON!!!"  
"HALF TIME!!!"  
"PO-KE-MONNNNNN!!!!!!"  
She passed through the kitchen. Elrond was still busy at the stove.  
"Where's the mail?"  
"I didn't get it."  
"Where are you going?"  
"Upstairs to wake up."  
"Oh… But don't you want some-?"  
"NO."  
She ran up the stairs and through the hallway. She entered her room, which was still covered in vines, and shut the door.  
"A dream! That's it! This is allllll just a dream…" she said aloud, striding over to a bed. "All just a dream. And when I wake up, it'll be all over. It'll be all over…" She got in her bed and hid under the covers.  
"Mfph."  
Blynk's eyes zapped open. She did not just say "Mfph". If she didn't say "Mfph", then who did?  
She reached her hand over to the other side of the bed, and felt- hair? Curly hair. She pulled.  
"Ouch!"  
"What the-?!"  
At the same time, Blynk hopped out of the bed and stood on the right side, and Pippin, wearing a huge gray t-shirt and some boxers, hopped out on the left.  
"Blynk?!"  
"Pippin?!"  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
* * *  
  
A/N: hehehe S.W.H's; Secret Wizard Handshakes. And yes, they both screamed "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" at the same time. It just gives it that funny effect.   
Boy things certainly are screwed up for Blynk aren't they? And how the heck did Pippin get in her bed? Tune in next chapter for the continuation of "My Father is a Flapjack-Flipping Elf Lord!" *doinky music starts playing*  



	3. Plynk and Bippin, I mean, Blynk and Pipp...

Chapter 3- Plynk and Bippin, I mean, Blynk and Pippin, Powder Explosions, and Krispy Kremes.  
  
A/N: This is just a chapter to show you how close friends Blynk and Pippin are. Awww gee lol. As for the powder, well, you'll see ::evil laugh:: Anyways- read on my kemosabes! …I know that's a word, I've heard it before, I just can't spell it… DANG!  
  
* * *  
Blynk and Pippin. Pippin and Blynk. Musemaster and Muse. Now they were both standing there, actually facing each other. Without speaking, they both walked in front of each other, staring.  
"Blynk?"  
"Pippin?"  
"BLIPPIN!" or at least that's what it sounded like, as they both said each other's name at the same exact time. She jumped and hugged him, calling him to fall to the ground with a dull "thud".  
"Ow." He said.  
"Oh my God I can't believe its you!!!" she exclaimed, sitting on top of him.  
"Yeah, that's great, but could you please get off me now?" he moaned.  
"Oh. Heh, heh heh sorry…" she said, climbing off and helping him to his feet.  
"Thank you," he said, dusting himself off. There was a slight pause.  
"Wait a second," said Blynk. Her expression grew angry, and she slapped Pippin on the side of the face.  
"OW!" he yelled, clutching at his stinging cheek. "What the heck was that for? First you hug me, now you slap me! I'll never understand women…"  
"You pervert! What the bloody heck were you doing in my bed?" she asked him. He cocked an eyebrow.  
"Your bed? I thought it was MY bed?!" he asked her.  
"What are you talking about?!" she asked him, puzzled.  
"Well," said Pippin, taking in a deep breath. "Last thing I remember was being at Rivendell to visit Bilbo, and I asked Elrond where I was sleeping, and he showed me to this room. Odd really… He was dressed really weird… and making pancakes…" He shook his head. "Maybe I'm still dreaming or something."  
"No, you're not," she said. "Something really weird is going on here, and I guess we're the only ones who realize it. C'mon and get changed and I'll show you."  
"Ok." He said, and proceeded to take his shirt off. Blynk's eyes widened.  
"NOT HERE!!!" she shouted. Pippin paused and turned red.   
"Oh. Yeah. Heh, sorry."  
Blynk slapped a hand to her forehead, and mumbled "Bathroom's down the hall."  
"Right." Said Pippin, staring to walk out.  
"Pippin?"  
"Yes?"  
"Missing something?"  
"Wha'?" He looked at her holding his cloak, pants, shirt, and vest, and bit his lip.  
"Oh. Yeah. Thanks."  
She tossed him his stuff and he walked out. Sighing, she rolled her eyes and shut the door.  
"Fool of a Took…"  
  
* * *  
  
"Who is it?"  
"You done?" said Blynk, standing at the bathroom door, which she had just knocked on.  
"Just a sec. Stupid powder…"  
A loud BAMF! Followed by and even louder POOF! Came from behind the door. There was a slight pause.  
"Whoops…"  
Blynk groaned.  
"What did you do now?" she asked him, annoyed.  
"See for yourself." Was his reply, and he opened the door. Powder. Powder EVERYWHERE. All over EVERYTHING. And in the midst of it all, stood Pippin, white as a ghost, holding a large thing of powder with the top blown off. Blynk exploded into laughter.  
"Shut up." muttered Pippin, scowling. Blynk was too busy rolling on the floor of the hall laughing. Tears were flowing like rivers down her cheeks.  
"HOW- HOW- HAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" she broke off laughing again. Pippin just stood there, glaring at his friend, who was pounding the floor with her fist.  
"Really, you can stop now…" he told her.  
"NO- I- CAN'T!!!!" she choked out, as she lay there, practically dying. Pippin sighed.  
"Heh, heh heh, Oh my God…" she said laughing, gaining control. She stood up, looked at him, and let out a snort of laughter.  
"ALRIGHT!" Pippin yelled. She sniffed and wiped away a tear.  
"Sorry. But-" she laughed. "How in God's Green Earth did you blow up the powder?"  
"Well, I thought I had the cap twisted so that the powder could come out, but I guess I didn't, so I kept squeezing it, and finally I resorted to placing it on the ground and jumping on it." Said Pippin, quite rationally. She looked at him and started laughing again.  
"Ok, ok, I'm SORRY!" she said, stopping as her friend glared. "Its just-" she laughed.  
"What?" Pippin asked her.  
"Nothing," she said, biting her lip to stop from grinning. "Nothing at all."  
"Then why are you still laughing?" he asked her.  
"Its just- you look like a Krispy Kreme Donut." She said. There was another slight pause, interrupted by some powder falling off the tip of Pippin's nose. They both burst out laughing, and fell to the floor, side by side.  
"I feel so…" said Pippin, grinning, as he searched for a word.  
"Kreamy?" Blynk suggested. They roared with laughter again.  
"Ohhhh my God…" said Blynk, after they had calmed down and stood up.  
"How are we going to clean this up?" asked Pippin.  
"Hmm… I wonder…" she said, stepping into the bathroom. She looked up at the ceiling, covered in vines.  
"Erm, clean this up?!" It was more of a question then a statement. But it WORKED. For some odd reason, the vines scrambled about, wiping away the powder, absorbing it, dumping it in the sink, even flushing it down the toilet! And they wrapped around Pippin, and in a flash, the powder was gone! Then, neat as you please, the vines crept back into place. The two friends stared.  
"How…?" began Pippin.  
"You got me. Gandalf must've enchanted them…"  
"Gandalf's here?!"  
"Yeah, he's downstairs watching football with Saruman."  
"…"  
"C'mon and I'll show you." she said, turning. Pippin paused.  
"Did you get any powder on you…?" he asked her. She frowned and looked at her robes.  
"I don't see any…" she said.  
"You look kinda pale…" he said, eyes narrowed. She frowned and looked in the mirror.  
"…I do, don't I…" She screamed. "My ears! Pippin, look at my ears!"  
"What? What's wrong with- AHH!" he said, looking at her reflection. She fingered the two pointed elven ears that poked out of her long brown hair.  
"How did these…? Oh no…"  
"What? How'd they get there?" he asked her.  
"Did I mention that Elrond's my dad?"  
"…No…"  
"Well, he is, so then that must make me…"  
"…An elven princess?!"  
Her eyes widened and she fainted.  
"EEP!" Pippin exclaimed, and caught her.  
"Erm," he said, and looked around. He turned on the faucet and splashed some water in her face. She spluttered.  
"Blynk, are you alright?" he asked her, concerned.  
"Yeah… Yeah, I'm fine. Just, in shock…" she said, gazing at her reflection.  
"Y'know, its not that bad," said Pippin, shyly. "I mean, you're kinda pretty and, uh, stuff."  
She looked at him oddly, and smiled.  
"Thanks. Now c'mon, we better get downstairs and try to figure things out."  
"Right," said Pippin, walking out of the bathroom. He stopped, and said "Ladies first." And smilied sheepishly.  
"Pippin, you are a piece of work." She said with a laugh.  
"Lets just hope they don't frame me and nail me to the wall."  
She snirted, and grinned to herself as they started down the stairs. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all…  
  
* * *  
  
Awwww wasn't that SWEET?! LOL I had a lot of fun writing that chapter. Heh, Krispy Kreme lol. Anyways… Chapter 4'll be on the way (whenever I feel like it that is). Please review!   
*The Price is Right music starts playing*   
Bob Barker: And control the pet population by remembering to have your pets spayed and neutered!  
::alarmed look. Runs off:: DAD! GET YOUR FRYING PAN HANDY!!! ::evil grin::  



	4. Demon Stoves, Politically Correct Wizard...

Chapter 4-Demon Stoves, Politically Correct Wizards, and College Roomies.  
  
A/N: Yay!!! Chapter 4 is finally up! In this chapter, Pippin and I take a walk down the street leading to Mount Doom so we can try to figure out if anything is remotely normal around here. And on our way, guess who comes home from college??? My brother Legolas and Gimli! Yee hoo! lol And also, Grandpa Gandalf & Grandpa Saruman get in a big argument! Why? Um… Oh yeah- the stove goes kablooey! Well, kinda…   
  
* * *  
  
Blynk walked down the stairs, Pippin following right behind her. When they got at the bottom, he stared.  
"Did you know there's a stream in your computer room?" he asked her.  
"Yes." She replied. A robin flew through the window and perched itself on top of her computer. It whistled at the deer drinking from the stream.  
"Just checking…" said Pippin. They walked into the kitchen, and as they did so, black smoke fumed out.  
"Erudangit!"  
Blynk waved her hand in the air at the smoke. The sound of a fire extinguisher was heard.  
"Dad?" she coughed. "Everything ok?"  
"Hehehe daddy blew up the stove." Said Boromir, who was sitting at the kitchen table grinning.  
"I did NOT blow up the stove, Boromir." Said Elrond, coming into to view. His apron was stained with some ash and batter-like residue, and the tip of his hat was singed. He was holding a fire extinguisher and frowing at the stove, which was covered with that white foamy stuff from the extinguisher.  
"Daddy just had a little accident with the stove, that's all…" he said, waving some smoke away. He coughed.  
"What happened?" said Blynk, coughing. She opened the stove and saw bits of batter and… banana splattered all on the insides, as well as the white foamy stuff.  
"I was trying to make some banana bread, and I guess I had the heat on too high…" he said, looking at the stove, his hands on his hips. "I just don't understand it. The book said 350 degrees on medium-high…" He suddenly caught sight of Pippin and smiled. "Oh! Hello there Pippin! I didn't see you come in! You're out early this morning! Nice day today, isn't it?"  
Pippin merely stared. He finally nodded very slowly. Elrond eyed him oddly.  
"Have you been getting enough sleep lately? You don't seem quite right…"  
"Eh, eh heh heh heh…" was all Pippin could mumble. Blynk rolled her eyes.  
"Is the stove broken dad?" she asked Elrond. His brow furrowed.  
"I'm not sure. Perhaps I should call a mechanic to-"  
"Mechanic schmanic!"  
They turned to see Gandalf and Saruman walking into the kitchen.  
"In my day, we didn't use no mechanics. We'd fix them stoves ourselves, and it'd take 15 hours to do so!" said Gandalf, leaning on his staff. Saruman sighed.  
"15 hours? Really. Calling a mechanic would be more politically correct."  
"At least I am politically correct!" retorted Gandalf. Saruman scowled.  
"Why you pathetic excuse of a Gandalf the Grey Istari!"  
"That's Gandalf the WHITE to you, Mr. Saruman of Many Colors!" said Gandalf. The two old men started arguing. Blynk and Pippin gawked. Elrond groaned.  
"Not again…" he said. "Look. You two kids go outside, while I straighten up BOTH these messes!"  
"Sure thing dad, we were gonna take a walk anyways." Said Blynk, as she and Pippin headed for the door to the garage.  
"Have fun!" said Elrond with a smile, which quickly turned into a frown. "Now Grandpa Gandalf, Grandpa Saruman, can we please stop the fighting?"  
"Don't blame me! It was Mr. Many Colors who started it!"  
"I started it, Mr. High and Mighty White Wannabe?"  
"Why you old-!"  
  
* * *  
  
"I think… yes, I think I have finally cracked." Said Pippin, as he and Blynk stood in the driveway. Blynk laughed.  
"Hey, at least we can be insane together." She replied, grinning.  
"Hey! Maybe we can even be roomies at the asylum!" exclaimed Pippin happily. She laughed and they headed across the lawn to the "dead end" street. Well, at least that's what it used to be.  
"Holy crap…" said Pippin, gazing down the street.  
"Yep. Mount Doom, in all her glory." Said Blynk. The volcano gave a roar as flames emitted from the top. Pippin stared.  
"Why do you think everything is like this?" he asked her.  
"I have no clue. Maybe I was hit by a car or something, and this is Hell."  
"Why would God send you to Hell?"  
"I dunno. Maybe he got sick of me referring to him as Alan Rickman."  
Pippin laughed as they started walking down the street.  
"Didja know when I came out here earlier this morning, a hobbit ran up to me and asked me for some pipe weed? Scary, scary thing it twas…" she told him. He laughed again.  
"Compared to what happened back there?!" he asked her. She frowned.   
"Ok, maybe not AS scary as that…" she grinned and put on an accent of an old man. "What's it to you, Mr. Many Colors?"  
"Everything, Mr. High and Mighty White Wannabe!" said Pippin, imitating Saruman. They both laughed and continued walking.  
"Wait a sec-" said Pippin, putting his hands in his pockets. "Gandalf and Saruman are your grandfathers?!"  
"Yep. And Elrond's my dad, and Boromir's my brother."  
"Whoa. That is seriously disturbing."  
"Tell me about it."  
"So what am I?"  
"Well, your obviously not my brother, or else Elrond, er, I mean "dad", would've called you son. So I guess you're just my best friend, like it was meant to be." She said, smiling at him. He smiled back.  
"I like that." he said.  
  
They continued walking down the street a ways, passing by trees, trees, and more trees. There were no houses; all the neighbors were gone. Where? Blynk didn't know, but it didn't really bother her too much, as she rarely ever talked to them.  
"Why do you think everything's like this?" Pippin said, asking her the one question that had been pecking at her brain. She stopped walking.  
"I dunno. Maybe, maybe it had something to do with God. I mean," she sighed. "I really don't know. Unless this is all some cruel lie the world feels like telling me."  
"Why would you think that?" Pippin asked her, frowning. She shrugged.  
"I dunno. I mean, why else would things be like this…" her voice trailed off as she looked at the ground in horror.  
"What? What's wrong?" he asked her.  
"Oh my God…" she said quietly. "How… I didn't think…"  
"What?! What's wrong?!" he asked her again. She stared at the ground.  
"Yesterday, I was having a really bad day, and at night, I cried, and, I looked at a star outside my window, and wished I lived in Middle Earth…"  
"…So?"  
"Don't you see?" she said, looking up at him. "I wished upon a star and it came true!"  
He looked at her oddly.  
"You're joking right?"  
She gave him a stern look.  
"Ok, ok," he said, as they started walking again. "So you wished you lived in Middle Earth. Then why is everyone here?"  
"Maybe… maybe I didn't say it clear enough. I just wished, and here I am, living in Middle Earth, in a sense."  
"Wow. That's just plain freaky Blynk." He said to her.  
"I know. Its like some twisted Mary-Sue…"  
They both shuddered. Blynk narrowed her eyes as she looked ahead.  
"What do you see?"  
"Its… a car…"  
They both looked curiously ahead. A jeep was driving down the road, heavy metal music blasting from it. It sounded strangely like Metallica…  
"Who is it?" Pippin asked her, as the squinted at the car; Elves see very well, after all.  
"I don't… oh my God…"  
"What?"  
"Its… Legolas and Gimli…"  
"Its WHO?!"  
The jeep came speeding up and jerked with a screech on the side of them. Legolas leaned out the window.  
"Yo sis, what's up?" he asked Blynk. She and Pippin just stood there, gawking. Gimli appeared at the window.  
"Dude, what's up with your sister? I thought she'd be happy to see you." he said.  
"Sister?!" exclaimed Blynk. Legolas frowned at her.  
"Yeah, sister. Remember? I'm your brother? The one who went off to college?"  
"College?!" exclaimed Pippin. Gimli frowned at him.  
"Dude, have you two been smokin' pipe weed together?"  
"WHAT?!" they both exclaimed.  
"Yeah, you too are acting really weird… how doped up are you?"  
"Wait a second!" said Blynk, putting up a hand. "First off, we are certainly not doped up, and neither of us do drugs. Pipe weed INCLUDED." She added, at the look on Gimli's face. "Well, except for Pippin anyways. I don't smoke. And second of all- you two are at college?"  
"Yep. We're roomies." Said Legolas. "Well, their giving us this summer break sorta thing, because one of the kids accidentally blew up the science hall." Legolas and Gimli snickered. "Anyways, we decided to come home for a while, bug dad for money, and Gimli could crash at our place. How's dad doing?"  
"Oh, he's ok." She said, as though this was all normal. She was getting used to it by now.  
"He blew up the stove." Said Pippin. Legolas and Gimli started laughing.  
"Hey, do you guys want a lift back?" Legolas asked her. "I got two seats in the back."  
They shrugged, and replied "Sure." And hopped in the car.  
"Buckle up. This baby goes fast." Said Gimli with a grin. Blynk and Pippin exchanged a look and quickly buckled up their seat belts.  
"Get ready to lock and load baby! Whoo hoo!" exclaimed Legolas, and he pressed down hard on the gas. The car speeded up the street, Metallica blasting again, overpowering Blynk and Pippin's yells.  



End file.
